surrogates – review

1 10 2009

hr_exclusive_surrogates_posterwent to see surrogates with bruce willis last night…ok, that doesn’t sound right because, well, bruce wasn’t actually with me.  moving on.  i was pretty excited to see one of the few new sci-fi movies and i went with high hopes!  this review may seem like it’s going down the path of “it sucked” but read on…you may be surprised or not.

a quick breakdown on the plot:  guy invents surry’s (short lang for surrogates) which are essentially robots that you control with your mind.  think of virtual reality but instead of having experiences within an artificial computer landscape, your surrogate lets you experience actual life in the real world as you sit at home in the comfort of your chair at home.  the beginning of the movie shows all the newspapers and tv stories on how it comes to pass that within 14 years 98% of society live their lives through their surry.  advantages?  lower crime rate (i don’t know why), low rate of std’s being passed (ok, until robots get diseases i get this point), people in wheelchairs can walk, you don’t have to worry about getting physically hurt so you can try anything, etc…you get the idea why everyone wants one 😉

then we witness some this guy stalk and kill someone who turns out to be the son of the inventor of  surrogates.  first murder in years!  the rub lies in the fact that it’s no secret that surrogates can get killed (or deactivated, crushed, shot, etc) but their owners will be safe at home.  this time though, whatever the stalker used to kill the surrogate also killed the surrogate owner by frying and liquefying their brains.  holy cow, how safe can surrogates be then?  will there be panic in the streets?  on the case though are fbi agents tom greer (bruce willis) and his partner peters (radha mitchell).  always nice to see what new hairpiece bruce will be sporting.  this time a lovely blonde piece that looks like a throwback from leave it to beaver.

on the flipside of the coin we have the “dreads” who are humans who ‘just say no’ to robots.  the “dreads” are led by the ‘prophet’ (played deadpan and boring by ving rhames).  the prophet condemns surrogates as an abomination and incites humans to rise up and take back what it means to be human!  but you can really forget about this because it’s part of the story that serves the plot but isn’t explored at the end (the alluded to ‘contrived’ at the end of the review 😉 )

so there are all the players (for the most part)…let the action and intrigue begin!

in the end, is this movie worth the $12 to see it in the theaters?  well to me it seemed like i’d seen this movie before.  it felt like “the sixth day” with people having no fear of dying because they can just put their memories and such into the next clone of themselves.  it also had an i, robot feel in the artificial look and stiffness of the robots characters.

there were a few inconsistencies that didn’t leave me feeling good by the end.  everyone is only allowed to be linked to one surrogate however you can go to what amounts to a dollar store and hook yourself up with a replacement if you want (hey!  is that guy from 90210! lol!)  as well, as much as they try to twist and turn the plot so that the audience doesn’t know the reason behind murders, we really figure it out quite quickly because it’s so fricken obvious!  my fav phrase from the movie was “meat bag” (the name that people in their surrogate form call humans that don’t use surrogates) and of course i immediately put it to use on my gf because, well, she is one!  lol!  don’t get mad!  we all are!

overall i give this movie 3.5 kicks to the balls out of 5.  if they had tried to make sure all the lose ends (most of which some i can’t get into without a spoiler alert) were tied and didn’t try to go with such a contrived ending, i would have gone to 4.

kick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the balls

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