surrogates – review

1 10 2009

hr_exclusive_surrogates_posterwent to see surrogates with bruce willis last night…ok, that doesn’t sound right because, well, bruce wasn’t actually with me.  moving on.  i was pretty excited to see one of the few new sci-fi movies and i went with high hopes!  this review may seem like it’s going down the path of “it sucked” but read on…you may be surprised or not.

a quick breakdown on the plot:  guy invents surry’s (short lang for surrogates) which are essentially robots that you control with your mind.  think of virtual reality but instead of having experiences within an artificial computer landscape, your surrogate lets you experience actual life in the real world as you sit at home in the comfort of your chair at home.  the beginning of the movie shows all the newspapers and tv stories on how it comes to pass that within 14 years 98% of society live their lives through their surry.  advantages?  lower crime rate (i don’t know why), low rate of std’s being passed (ok, until robots get diseases i get this point), people in wheelchairs can walk, you don’t have to worry about getting physically hurt so you can try anything, etc…you get the idea why everyone wants one 😉

then we witness some this guy stalk and kill someone who turns out to be the son of the inventor of  surrogates.  first murder in years!  the rub lies in the fact that it’s no secret that surrogates can get killed (or deactivated, crushed, shot, etc) but their owners will be safe at home.  this time though, whatever the stalker used to kill the surrogate also killed the surrogate owner by frying and liquefying their brains.  holy cow, how safe can surrogates be then?  will there be panic in the streets?  on the case though are fbi agents tom greer (bruce willis) and his partner peters (radha mitchell).  always nice to see what new hairpiece bruce will be sporting.  this time a lovely blonde piece that looks like a throwback from leave it to beaver.

on the flipside of the coin we have the “dreads” who are humans who ‘just say no’ to robots.  the “dreads” are led by the ‘prophet’ (played deadpan and boring by ving rhames).  the prophet condemns surrogates as an abomination and incites humans to rise up and take back what it means to be human!  but you can really forget about this because it’s part of the story that serves the plot but isn’t explored at the end (the alluded to ‘contrived’ at the end of the review 😉 )

so there are all the players (for the most part)…let the action and intrigue begin!

in the end, is this movie worth the $12 to see it in the theaters?  well to me it seemed like i’d seen this movie before.  it felt like “the sixth day” with people having no fear of dying because they can just put their memories and such into the next clone of themselves.  it also had an i, robot feel in the artificial look and stiffness of the robots characters.

there were a few inconsistencies that didn’t leave me feeling good by the end.  everyone is only allowed to be linked to one surrogate however you can go to what amounts to a dollar store and hook yourself up with a replacement if you want (hey!  is that guy from 90210! lol!)  as well, as much as they try to twist and turn the plot so that the audience doesn’t know the reason behind murders, we really figure it out quite quickly because it’s so fricken obvious!  my fav phrase from the movie was “meat bag” (the name that people in their surrogate form call humans that don’t use surrogates) and of course i immediately put it to use on my gf because, well, she is one!  lol!  don’t get mad!  we all are!

overall i give this movie 3.5 kicks to the balls out of 5.  if they had tried to make sure all the lose ends (most of which some i can’t get into without a spoiler alert) were tied and didn’t try to go with such a contrived ending, i would have gone to 4.

kick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the balls


g.i. joe – review

14 09 2009

g.i.joea movie based on some plastic action figures i had when i was a kid?  really?  cool!  i’ll watch it!  i’ll make this short and sweet…special f/x were awesome!  story was weak.  key cool points – the use of the phrase “go joes!” and use of the arctic trooper outfits!  ahhh, the memories 🙂  i can’t see there being a sequel even though they left it wide open for one or SIX!  the acting was flat but sienna miller looked great (one of the saving graces of the movie).

kick to the ballskick to the balls

Rated 2/5 on Sep 14 2009
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yes dear. you’re right.

14 09 2009

Top Gunlast night i went out to top gun in crystal mall.  it’s a hotpot restaurant that is pretty decent.  for about $30 [with tip included] you can eat all the seafood, meat, and veggies you want to cook.  pretty sly for whomever invented the hotpot restaurant…we prep everything and drop it off at your table and YOU do all the cooking!  lol!  oh well, it was delicious.

went out basically for my gf’s friend’s birthday.  in the past she’s accused me said i don’t go out with her and her friends at all and i totally disagreed with her!  there were times…i can’t really remember all of them…ok, maybe i don’t go out as often as she goes out with me and my friends!  :p  i figured in the end she was right and i should join her on occasion.  you should know though that her usual times out are no boys allowed girls nights, so i obviously don’t go.  honestly i sometimes don’t find i have much to talk about with her girlfriends…maybe we lack similar interests or a common background.  who knows.  maybe it’s because i don’t go out enough with them to create a good relationship dialogue.  hmmmm.  food for thought.

anyways, last night was cool.  i didn’t know most of the people there but nonetheless there was good conversation and i had a great time.  mostly though i think it made liza happy that i came out and socialized…now they know she has a flesh and blood boyfriend and hasn’t been making me up to keep herself from looking lonely.  lol!

district 9 – review

14 09 2009

district 9 posterdistrict 9 is one of the summer’s most thoughtful and interesting movies.  it is directed by neill blomkamp who is actually a director based out of vancouver, bc…very cool 🙂  going into this movie i didn’t really know what to expect.  from the trailers that i’d seen i thought it was going to be a typical sci-fi thriller.  to my surprise and enjoyment though it was that and so much more!

the basic story is that aliens have landed in south africa and the government, over the last 20 years, has kept them under an apartheid-like rule sequestering them in a shanty town that has transformed into an alien slum (district 9).  the main character, wikus van der merwe (sharlto copley) is in charge of clearing the town and moving the aliens to a new area.  the fun begins when he is accidentally infected by an alien liquid while he was searching one of the shacks.  then his dna starts changing and it seems he is evolving into a hybrid of human/alien.  when the government takes him in they find out that he now can use the alien weaponry (it seems only aliens can somehow activate their guns, machinery, etc).  when he finds out they want to dissect him to find out how they can capitalize on his new dna, he is forced to go on the run hiding out in district 9.   he eventually befriends another alien who tells him he can reverse the dna process if they can get off the planet.

up to this point district 9 is more an intellectual movie; a comic/political statement on south african apartheid and a parallel to racism that society never seems to fail to inflict on what it doesn’t know or understand.  however as soon as wikus is out on the run, the action begins and then it’s alien laser cannons that completely obliterate anything that they hit, a transformer-like battle suit that is like wearing a walking tank, gunfire galore, explosions…everything a good action movie needs!

the movie is filmed for the most part as a mockumentary but then flits between an all out action movie and melodrama.  overall the effect is awesome and i loved the movie!  i’m giving this a 4.5 kick to the balls out of 5.  a little more consistency in action throughout the whole movie would have made it more a 5 for me.

kick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the ballskick to the balls